Me Is Who I Am

I am me.

Me is who I am. I refuse to pretend to be anyone else. I worked too hard for too long to merely be a copy of someone else; a piece of what I should be. 

I am nineteen with a creative side, an insatiable appetite for the wonders of the world, a weird way of connecting the thoughts in my head, and an all around curiosity for my future. I stay up way too late to do things others wouldn't deem important. I eat the kind of food I'm not supposed to eat because it's bad for my health, but good for my soul. I have an intense way of wording things.

I am what you would call an impact-thinker. I take in my surroundings, internalize them, ponder them way too long, and when I speak I know that I can move mountains.

Good luck world. I'm not done yet.

Dirt

I’ve always liked dirt. When I was younger, my favorite way to get my sister outside was to make mud pies. We would take a wagon and a bunch of bowls and fill the wagon with sludge concoctions of every shape and size, and then try to sell them to our family to make money to buy the toys we wanted. When I got a little older dirt started to disinterest me because it was gross and that wasn’t what the big kids did. But I still found myself going for walks and sometimes just sitting and running my fingers through it. When I was in high school I loved the dirt because it meant being out near the football field. Dirt meant that I had free time and could go on my walks—away from the world, my family, my schoolwork, afterschool activities, and responsibilities. Dirt meant that I could sit and have some time between God and me. I still like dirt. I still go on walks and learn about the world and learn to love the world, and wonder what God wants me to do for it. 

People are so distracted nowadays. I constantly watch others—and myself—plug into the world through an Internet portal or a wifi connection. We are all given so much information and yet I couldn’t tell you the first thing about any recent governmental legislation. Something happened in France about a month ago and I had no idea until it was brought up in a pageant interview.

Some of the best memories I’ve made in my lifetime come from me being surrounded by dirt. I was completely dirty, and tired, and worn out, but I was happy. My worst fear for my sister is that she won’t remember a life like that. Children aren’t going to remember their childhood because all it will be is a constant stream of apps, likes, and DMs. It’s easy for life to become a blur when all you look at is a screen. There is so much to learn but so much is lost inside pointless television shows with no value.

I believe in dirt. I believe in finding the value in every living thing, and learning things through experience—not just through a web article. I believe that changing the world means loving it—all of it. You can’t love a world you don’t see.

The world is full of dirt—all kinds—and I believe in learning to love it all.

50 Things I Believe

1. I believe in high heels.

I believe that the right pair of shoes can make anyone feel stunning.

2. I believe in confidence.

I believe that people are attracted to a confident individual. Someone who loves themselves cannot be easily swayed to think differently.

3. I believe in love.

I believe that love bears all things. It is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that all things are merely manifestations of the love-- or lack of love-- inside of us.

4. I believe in fighting for what you believe in, not fighting just because.

I believe that when silence is necessary it can be powerful. But that will never stop me from speaking the truth, even if my voice shakes.

5. I believe in first dates.

I believe in the awkward getting to know people. I mean really getting to know them. I believe in looking past that first impression and giving people a chance.

6. I believe in first loves.

I believe that first loves are lessons. They are the ones who gave us a taste of what life is about. As human beings we crave it. I believe in following that craving until we've found it. 

7. I believe in spirit.

I believe that a sense of pride is good for the soul. We all want to have somewhere we belong and I believe in loving where you belong with your whole heart.

8. I believe in chocolate.

I believe that people crave things because our body is in need. Sometimes that physical need is a little more emotional, but hey it's chocolate.

9. I believe in courage and bravery.

I believe that in order to be successful in life, we must first be willing to do unimaginable things and to take the leap of faith.

10. I believe in being both weak and strong at the same time.

I believe that it is possible to show who you are-- your weakest, most raw, most vulnerable side-- and be stronger for it. Behind every scar there is an untold story of survival. The biggest bleeding hearts are often the strongest.

11. I believe in being powerful.

I don't want to be pretty. I got enough of that when I was little. I want to be a force of nature; I will be strong and mighty and influential in the lives of the people I care about.

12. I believe in loved ones.

I believe that the connections to our loved ones are the most potent and influential connections we have. We base every decision off of how it would affect them. We wouldn't be who we are without them.

13. I believe in creativity.

I believe in arts and crafts. I believe in keeping my hands, heart, and mind busy until the day I can use them to conquer the world.

14. I believe in the stars.

I believe in looking up. There is so much more to us than we know and there is so much more out there than we could dream of. A God who made the heavens, the earth, the stars, and all of space made me as well. And of all of them I was the one made in God's image.

15. I believe in the power of words.

I believe that a simple sentence can change a person's life. You just have to find the right one.

16. I believe in stories.

I believe in imagining worlds not our own. I believe in believing something other than what we can see so that one day we can better believe in God.

17. I believe in the truth.

I believe that everyone deserves the truth. In every situation. I believe that the world is full of lies-- why add to it?

18. I believe in using my voice.

I believe that God gave me a strong mind for a reason. I believe that one day one of my ideas might just change the world.

19. I believe in holding hands.

I believe in the power of touching someone. Through every hard time I've ever had in my life I've only ever wanted someone there to hug me-- no words, just a hug. The people I've held hands with are the people I want to hold on to for the rest of my life-- all of them.

20. I believe in equity.

I believe that not everyone deserves the same thing. Some need more, and some need less. My job is not to complain about the fact that I only have 3/4 of a bowl of cereal; my job is to look over at my neighbor's bowl only to make sure that they have any cereal at all.

21. I believe in perfect moments.

I believe that life is not perfect. Nothing is perfect. But I think that there are times when God gives us some pretty perfect moments to keep us interested in this life we have to live.

22. I believe in Skype.

I believe that when people are far away, I still want to see their face, hear their voice, and ask about their day so I can see their emotions without the use of an emoji.

23. I believe in “what the hell”s and “why not”s.

I believe that every once in a while we should do something really stupid. If we did the smart thing all the time we would never learn anything. What's the fun in that?

24. I believe in listening—not for yourself but for someone else.

I believe that we become the best version of ourselves when we put ourselves away for a conversation. Stop listening for the sake of replying; listen for the sake of understanding.

25. I believe in choices.

I believe that there are two types of decisions: the ones we make for the sake of others, and the ones we make for ourselves. Both are important and when I can make everyone happy it's nothing short of magical, but in the end I'm the one living my life. I need to be happy with the choice I made.

26. I believe in making beautiful things.

I believe in finding everything beautiful and adding to the beauty of the world.

27. I believe in stepping out of comfort zones.

I believe that taking risks and doing uncomfortable things is THE only way to live fully the life God gave me. If I didn't, how would I know that I love skydiving?

28. I believe in fuzzy socks.

I believe in comfort. I believe in sliding around on a tile floor because I need a little humor at the end of a long day... and it's fun and comfy.

29. I believe in independence.

I believe that figuring out who I am and the person I am supposed to be requires only one person. 

30. I believe in the power of silence.

I believe that speaking can be powerful, but silence can say just as much. 

31. I believe in dancing in my underwear.

I believe in starting my day with something that makes me happy. And if that means I put my Brad Paisley on and sing and dance while I pick out an outfit, so be it.

32. I believe in struggle.

I believe that no one gets out of struggle and hard times in life. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And in my case, what doesn't kill me makes me rely on God.

33. I believe in notes on notebook paper.

I believe in telling people what I think. And if I am thinking something positive or silly or funny and I want them to know it, I just write a note. It makes people happy. I believe in making people happy.

34. I believe in good morning texts.

I believe in letting someone know that you are the first thing they think of when you wake up.

35. I believe in bare feet.

I believe that bare feet remind us the rest of the world doesn't have the things we have. 

36. I believe in soft things.

I believe in cuddling and wrapping up in something soft. I just like the way it feels and the way it feels like I can just hide from the world for a while. Sometimes I need those things.

37. I believe in helping people.

I believe that we as humans have a responsibility to help each other. We each have our own unique gifts and passions and we have them to share them with the world.

38. I believe in smiling at strangers.

I believe that this world has gotten so antisocial. Nobody looks people in the eye anymore. There is such a disconnect and if one smile can let someone know that there are people in the world that might actually care if they're in it, I've done my job.

39. I believe in being different.

I believe in being myself. How boring would the world be if everybody was just somebody else?

40. I believe in imagination.

I believe in looking at the world differently. I believe that each and every person has a unique perspective of the world and I love seeing things through someone else's eyes... imagination is the best way to do that.

41. I believe in mac-n-cheese.

I believe in my favorite food. Everyone has a favorite food and I think that one is going to stick with me even throughout adulthood.

42. I believe in lists.

I believe in having my plans laid out in front of me. My mind is absolute beautiful chaos and I like putting it down.

43. I believe in late nights.

I believe in staying up-- even though it is not advised by doctors. Sometimes it's better to stay up and have a good laugh.

44. I believe in singing—even when I don’t know the words.

I believe in letting myself have fun. I believe in enjoying music without worrying about knowing all of the words. Who could seriously know all of the words anyways?

45. I believe in laughter.

I believe that it really is the best medicine.

46. I believe in being from Texas.

I believe in Southern manners, and small towns, and country music. Seriously some of those songs describe my life so well!

47. I believe in prayer.

I believe in laying it all out for God. I constantly pour myself into the world and the only way to fill myself back up is to rely on God to do it.

48. I believe in the future.

I believe in looking forward. I believe in hoping and dreaming. I believe in dreaming big and unashamedly striving to fulfill that dream.

49. I believe in adventure—anywhere.

I believe in searching the world. I believe in hoping for the best and going with the flow. I believe in seeing the world-- all of the crazy wonderful parts of it that others could only dream of.

50. I believe that one person—should you give them the power to—can change your opinion on so many things, but most importantly, can change your opinion of love.

I now believe in loving someone with my whole heart, for my whole life. I used to not think that way and I knew that it was going to take someone pretty special to change that. And I think I found that person.