Do More Doodles

I thought I'd try something a little different for this post. It correlates with pageants and the latest news in my life right now but it also shares a little bit more about who I am.

I like to draw.

Correction. I like to doodle.

Doodling is different because it's not precise. It doesn't have to turn into any perfect form of a picture or some living object. Doodling is putting my hand to the paper and starting small until the bigger picture comes into focus.

In order to make my doodles more intricate I have to focus. And trust me, at the end of the day when my mind is running millions of directions and my to do list is a mile long that is just the thing I need: focus.

I like to start with an outline because it's fun to take a shape and turn it into art. It brings things to life.

 Sometimes I use a pencil if I'm not sure how an idea will turn out.

 But most of the time I just use pen and go with what I'm feeling.

I like to put it on a screen and see the detail in digital format. (I'm just a nerd, but I think it's cool.)

Sometimes I add color.

This one was requested by a friend. I think you can see my emotions in it, but mostly I was trying to stick to the type of personality she had.

 I do logos when I think they are cool.

 And lettering has been something I've always done.

 My aunt got me a sketchpad and pens for my birthday...

 Terrible/wonderful idea...

 I do things for online and social media posts.

 And my most recent project has been something a little different.

I believe that you can take anything you love to do and make it work for anything you are driven to achieve. I believe that art (and even simpler forms of it) can make a difference because it moves people. It inspires and encourages people. We are capable of so much more than we often let ourselves believe. I believe in showing people that.

I started drawing for a purpose. Balloons for Children's Miracle Network, Animals that let you know about local non-profits that really need support, and even logos for companies that are revolutionizing the personal care industry.

I believe that, like people, doodles can do more.

 If you would like to make a donation to Children's Miracle Network, go to http://www.missamericaforkids.org/Donate/AlexAndrews2015 and click the button. Send me a screenshot with your favorite colors and I'll send you a doodle that matters.

How to Deal with "That Girl"

Jealousy, Distraction, and Taylor Swift.

We all have it. That bug from our childhood we never quite shake. I think the radiation from all the technology only makes it grow stronger.

Comparison.

Think about it. As human beings, our lives have always depended on being the best and having the best traits in order to survive. In the animal kingdom the alpha male is the strongest and the best fighter of the pack/pride/etc.

Everything is a competition.

Survival is a competition.

We are naturally competitive and the proof is in the fact that we have competitions for nearly any human characteristic imaginable. Want a competition for intelligence? Chess, robotics, scholastic decathlons. Want a competition for athleticism? Sports. Want a competition for musical talents? The entire music industry. Want a more productive company? The natural solution is to introduce healthy competition within the workplace. Even the term "healthy competition" making its way to our vocabulary insinuates our need for competition and comparison.

Then there's "That Girl." You know who I'm talking about. Specifically for you Junior High and High School girls.

She is good at everything she does. She tries really hard to impress everyone. She dresses up, does anything and everything, has a million doting followers on Instagram, and takes forever to load the perfect selfie. She wakes up early every morning to make sure that she looks absolutely perfect before starting the day.

You and your natural competitive self have tried anything and everything and no matter what you do, she always gets the attention. She wins every competition. Everyone loves her.

And it gets under your last nerve.

Let's talk about what happens when competition turns south. This is a lovely word called jealousy.

*Cue the poetic perfection that is Taylor Swift.

It doesn't matter what she does, this chick just gets under your skin!

My advice: let it go.

Let her go. 

I know this sounds like the most counterproductive advice ever, but seriously, she's not worth your time.

You work hard. 

You do what you need to do to be on top; because in the end, you'll be better at what you do because you worked for it. It didn't come easy.

Don't be a sore loser. 

There is an amazing word called tenacity. Learn it. It means you tried, you gave it your best, you were not good enough this time, but you continued anyway. You are a unique individual, and there will be times in your life when who you are is not what is wanted/required in that moment. Does that mean you are a failure? Absolutely not! It just means it wasn't your opportunity. Taking a loss with grace is a lot better than being the one who never loses. That person is going to have a rough night when they don't get their way.

Ultimately, as a big sister, the best advice I can give is that girls suck. Girls are so competitive even among their friend groups. 

So darling understand this: 

YOU ARE AWESOME AND THE BEST WAY TO WIN AT LIFE IS TO LIVE IT AS YOURSELF AND ONLY YOURSELF. 

Even Taylor Swift made awkward cool.

Ask Me What Love Is

“Age is just a number. Some people are young at 90. Some are old at 19.”

I don’t think I am exactly an old soul, but I would like to believe that I have a tendency to think about things much deeper than people would expect from “someone my age.” 

I was told once that according to the Bible, God exists outside of the realm of time—that time was just a concept we mere humans made up to comprehend the vast mystery that is God. I read that God “Was and Is and Is to Come…” (Revelation 1:8 and Revelation 4:8) meaning God is everywhere… every-when all at once.

So, doesn’t it stand to reason that love (if you believe as I do that God created love for humans to understand the significance of our place on Earth to God) is also outside the realm of time? Don’t you just love all of those stories we hear couples in their 90s tell about being together for 70+ years? Have you ever done the math? Sometimes those couples found each other when they were 16. Think of the most mature 16-year-old you know; can you imagine them getting hitched right now? Of course not! We also treat 16-year-olds about the same as we do 12 year olds now.

Why do we do that? Why do we expect so much less of teenagers now? Is it because we don’t think they are capable of doing extraordinary things or because we have just gotten used to the idea that “all teenagers are lazy with no ambition?” Though most of the time it is unintentional, and I do mean MOST OF THE TIME, I do believe that older adults have gotten it into their heads that modern teenagers’ only skill sets include sleeping, schoolwork, and operating a cell phone. We are given no real responsibility because we are immediately deemed “not fit to handle it.” For the purpose of this article however, I’m not going to go too far into that, but I do have some thoughts I will share in a later post.

For now, I am inviting you to ask me, a nineteen year old undergraduate student with no set plan for her life and no idea the general direction she’s walking in, “What is love?”

If you had asked me three years ago, I would have said it didn’t exist. The love God talked about was only attainable with some divine intervention of sorts. We as humans could not conjure it.

Now… I believe F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best when he said, “There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.”

I’ve been told countless times, “You don’t know what love is. You’re too young.” I’ve seen the skepticism on my parents’ faces the first time I mentioned marrying my boyfriend.

Prejudices, life experiences, general parental concern is understandable (in my parents’ defense) but assuming I would make one very important life decision based on the same standards as the ones they used seems a little silly to me. No offense guys.

Maybe it would be best to explain this way:

What Love Is: As Told by a Nineteen-Year-Old

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love is humility and humor all wrapped up into one.

Love is courage and finding strength in someone other than yourself.

Love is leaning into something unfamiliar and having complete and utter faith.

Love is being home alone and dancing to music like crazies.

Love is trying to tell a story and failing miserably, but always knowing your best friend is going to laugh anyway.

Love is knowing little things not because you were told, but because you pay attention.

Love is him driving all the way up to the place you’re working in late at night just to kill a spider since you will obviously die if it leaves your sight.

Love is awkward.

Love is weird and silly and spectacular all at the same time.

Love is getting excited when that person holds your hand. 

And when you want them to do that every day for the rest of your life.

Love is being unsure, scared, frustrated, pissed off, and completely insane.

Love is picking on each other like siblings.

Love is falling in love with each other’s families.

Love is writing notes with doodles just because he keeps your doodles in his wallet.

Love is his face when he’s talking about something he cares about.

Love is driving to his house at the most random time just because you are mad at him and need to talk it out.

Love is when he says he’s sorry.

Love is when you say you’re sorry.

Love is when you melt in his arms because you’re sure the world has stopped and your worries have magically disappeared.

Love is wanting your person to be the first person you tell about something exciting.

Love is saving your money just so you can buy him some ridiculous toy he’s going to be so excited about. Just so he’s happy.

Love is laughing so hard you cry.

Love is chasing each other around the room like children.

Love is sacrificing things for each other—on purpose.

Love is waking up to him playing with your hair.

Love is going for a walk… or a four-mile hike.

Love is making plans.

Love is being so damn sure of those plans.

Love is dirty jokes.

Love is difficult and utilizes any available conflict-resolution skills you can attain.

Love is showing each other off.

Love is doing stupid things together.

Love is doing stupid things apart and telling each other about it.

Love is trusting another human…. Completely.

Love is listening to each other’s music.

Love is questioning the world together.

Love is exploring and adventuring.

Love is letting down the walls.

Love is crying into his chest and ruining his shirts.

Love is him literally picking you up when you can’t stand any longer.

Love is talking on the phone.

Love is nicknames no one understands.

Love is not making him guess what you're feeling.

Love is kisses on the forehead.

Love is pinky promises.

Love is having another person who is completely interested in you... No matter what it is you are doing.

Love is vulnerable.

Love is compromise.

Love is messing up... over and over and over and over... and being forgiven anyway.

Love is forgiveness.

Love is listening... really listening.

Love is growing… together, separately, and with God.

Ultimately love is knowing—deep down in that unshakeable place where you can’t explain your rationale or emotions—that your best friend is, and forever will, hold an incredible piece of your heart.

Why We Need Miss America

As most of you pageant people know, there was an article written after the Miss America competition last Sunday. This article is in response to that.

Dear Mr. Gallagher,
First of all, you've never worked with, competed in, nor had anything to do with the Miss America organization excepting sitting on your butt watching the live broadcast of finals night. Therefore the fact that I'm dignifying what you've said with a response is beyond me. However I can give you the names of about 56 young women and an entire organization who would stand behind me when I say that it is people like you who motivate us to do what we do.

Let me tell you why:

The 2016 Miss America competition is absolutely necessary because each contestant in the competition is highly qualified, incredibly motivated, and firm in her beliefs. Those are the role models we need--not the all-too-common oversexualized, unhealthy-lifestyle-promoting pop stars of our generation. The goal at the end of the night is not to crown "the perfect woman," but to give one woman the opportunity of a lifetime. The crown on her head is not some justification for being a "basic bitch," but an actual tool. The four points on the crown stand for the four basic pillars of the organization: service, style, scholarship, and success... But I've already written an article on that. It is also a tool in the sense that it provides a platform. How many times have you looked at the crown on her head instead of her face? The crown then becomes a gateway to address the wearer's chosen social issue. Each phase of the competition serves a specific purpose for the women competing and if they--as feminist, opinionated, and determined as most of them are--have no problem doing what they do and find meaning in it, let them do it. I'd rather see a young girl impersonating Miss America than Miley Cyrus.

Now for your list:

1. The Opening Number

Atlantic City was gracious enough to host the entire Miss America class of 2016 for two weeks before you tuned in on Sunday night. As a sponsor,-- and a big one--our host city, and the place of our headquarters, the organization owes an awful lot to the city. The opening number isn't even completely about introducing the contestants. It's about showing off the city.

2. Kevin O'Leary

OSQ is hard AF. Please please please go stand on stage in front of thousands of people and a camera that is recording live for yet millions more and tell me you want the question read quickly with lots of intonation. Go ahead.

3. The Winning Reactions

There are 52 contestants standing on stage. Only 15 are called to move on to the next phase of competition. Then 12, 10, 7... you get it. Each time your name is called you are closer to being the one. How would you react if your team moved on to the next round of playoffs? I say they're genuine.

4. Competition Music

Finals night is, for the girls, the last phase of competition. But for the rest of America, it's all we get to see. So ultimately, to keep the audience entertained, we need a production going on around the girls. You'd be complaining if Nick Jonas picked some obscure music no one had heard before. At least he picked songs people knew and that the girls could get some energy from. And he was hired to do a job, but it's not like it exactly came with an instruction manual. Sit down.

5. Fashion

Everyday people and their fashion are inspired by whatever! I guarantee you if you stopped a normal girl on the street and asked her for her fashion inspiration she'd tell you she saw it on Pinterest. Not every girl is there for her interest in fashion. Not every girl normally has access to designer gowns either, forgive her if her fashion icon comes from her life and not the fashion world.

6. Interesting Facts

She told the world something that was important to her and seemed like an interesting highlight of her life. You got a bunch of people to read your rant... Congratulations.

7. The Monologue

Her interesting fact was actually empowering. There are girls who often get made fun of because of their height and the fact that she worked hard and used the Miss America stage to talk about something she cared deeply about was just added encouragement to girls who are self-conscious about their height. It's not a hindrance, it makes you powerful.

Her monologue was something she wrote herself from her life experience and was ten times better than your article.

8. South Carolina OSQ

Refer to number two. That is her opinion... or it's not. She had twenty seconds to say what came to her mind. Again... you try it.

9. Miss Georgia's On-Stage Question

She didn't pick the question. It doesn't count much toward the final score anyway. It's not as important  as people think it is unless it's really close.

10. Scholarship

You didn't even write this one... You left a link to a video someone else did. But nonetheless this goes back to sponsors again. Let's say a school offered you a full-ride academic scholarship, but you didn't take it because you would rather go to another school and play the sport you love for half the money. Would you deny the fact that another school offered you money? I'm going to guess no. I do believe the words were "made available." By not acknowledging the scholarships donated by state schools--whether they were accepted or not--we lose the gratitude we have for those who were so generous. There are TONS of scholarships that go to waste every year because people didn't bother to apply. That doesn't mean they weren't offered.



In the end, you had good points for an outsider. We do what we do because we love it. For us, pageantry is just another platform--like blogging. We can earn scholarships, gain opportunities, get our opinions heard, and do incredible things. Miss America is proof we need better role models, whether you think so or not.

Link to the article by Mr. Gallagher:

http://www.vh1.com/news/205526/miss-america-why-beauty-pageants-shouldnt-exist/

Words

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but last I checked, cuts and bruises heal. You can watch them heal with time and you can take medication to lessen the pain.

Words-- words are so much more powerful. They don't just hurt you, they stay in your mind and every time you pull out the memory, you accidentally cut yourself. Words have this ability to snake their way around every wall we put up around our hearts and slice open even the coldest and most rigid of them.

Words are what we are taught from a young age to be the most important thing that makes us human. Words are what separate us from the animals of the earth-- and sometimes what brings us closer.

Words on a page, words on jealous lips, words on a screen, words in your head, they all hurt. Words don't callus with time. Every time we think of them, words just open a new wound we thought we had forgotten about.

Sometimes words manifest themselves physically.

I knew a girl, and her father's words manifested themselves in bruises, and yet another whose words from her own brain manifested themselves as cuts and scars. Neither of them were less beautiful. But the world told them so.

I knew a boy and the words of the people who tormented him manifested themselves in his drawings and he was all but too scared to ask for help because what escape is there now? Everywhere there is a screen, the words come.

Words are a cycle, a never-ending cycle, that gets passed down from generation to generation. Because the only words we were allowed to pick up were words of hate, envy, segregation, and distinction. The only way we could feel better is by not being at the bottom. So we put someone else there.

We think we are brave until we are asked to use words. More than words. Telling the world is hard sometimes, but there are some words people just can't die without hearing.

Sometimes the only words people need are, "I'm listening."

Let's Talk About This Swimsuit Competition

                          

Photo By: Jim Hansen, At Miss South Texas Pageant January 17, 2015.

Okay. With the new #YesAllWomen campaign, #HeForShe, and several other movements towards gender equality, it's no shock that the swimsuit competition is becoming more and more controversial. It was okay when women's worth came from her body, but now that women's worth is becoming a broader term that encompasses so much more, people are starting to ask me the "tough questions." Should the swimsuit portion be done-away-with? How can you participate in something so degrading? Doesn't it go against your religious beliefs?

Well here are my answers:

Q: Should the swimsuit portion be done-away-with?

A: Absolutely not. Before you conservatives out there jump my case, hear me out. I get it. I grew up conservative and have gone to plenty of church-sponsored, school-sponsored, and even friend-related events where I have been asked to wear a tshirt over my two-piece swimsuit. One-pieces are great if that is what you are comfortable and confident in. I have friends that only wear one-ieces and that's because they think that style of swimsuit is what fits them best. That is terrific! Personally, however, I have always found it more uncomfortable to wear a one-piece because I felt that it only drew attention to the fact that my body is shameful. I am perfectly confident in the body God gave me and I know that I and a lot of my pageant sisters have worked hard to keep our bodies healthy and happy. Why shouldn't we show off all of that hard work? It would be like training for a marathon only to never run it. Another reason the swimsuit competition is necessary is because it shows your physical determination to be the titleholder. Fitness is something you work on daily. A lack of effort will show. As a titleholder- in my case, Miss Texas- your job will be just as physically demanding as it is mentally and emotionally. You are expected to get up at 4:00 in the morning after getting home at 1:30am and go speak and make appearances with the highest level of enthusiasm and energy possible. The judges already know you can handle topics ranging from personal hobbies to current events, and they already know that you are passionate about your platform; this is your chance to get into their heads the idea that you can handle all aspects of the job.

Q: How can you participate in something so degrading?

A: Because it gives me an opportunity to make a stand. Body-shaming is real, y'all. To all of the liberals who write letters about school and church dress codes, this portion of the competition says exactly what you are trying to say. My body is what I and only I make of it. I happen to love mine. I have worked very hard to get myself to love mine- mentally more than physically. I used to hate it, and I thought I had to hide it so no one would think less of me. I realized that the sexualization of my body was not my problem; it was society's. If I am confident enough in myself to be completely vulnerable in front of a room full of people- no hiding behind rhinestones or expensive fabric- I am confident enough to overcome anything. The girls in the Miss America pageant system are scored higher in interview and talent than in swimsuit, evening gown, and onstage question. Know why? Because women are valued more than their pretty face and expensive spray tan. The sooner girls figure that out, the less money they spend on pageantry (Thank goodness. I would have been broke ages ago!) and the closer they get to winning their dream job. 

Q: Doesn't it go against your religious beliefs?

A: Again I say: Absolutely not. The Bible was written when it was still okay to own slaves and sell your virgin daughter to the highest bidder. After Jesus, we suddenly no longer believe in slavery. So... check one for Jesus! What about the whole selling your virgin daughter thing? Oh sorry, marrying... Back then a women's greatest asset was her body. Emphasis on the virgin part. People don't buy dogs who have already had puppies, they want the puppies! (Too far? I think it makes the point.) Modern media still reinforces this ideal of the women's best asset being her body. Men sexualize women. Women sexualize women. The cycle never ends. Did you know that even up through the 1900s men were required to wear shirts to the beach? Then eventually men progressed to no shirts at all- no shame for them. The point is, my wearing a swimsuit on stage is not a slap in the face to my religion. I'm just choosing to believe that Christ didn't pick and choose which wrongdoing of humanity God should forgive. Personally I'd like to believe that when Christ died for a sin of mine, it was not the "sin" where I am confident enough in God's gifts and plan for me that I am okay with being vulnerable. And if a man has a problem with that, that's his sin not mine and I'm not responsible for it.

So that's my take on it and if you don't agree that's perfectly fine. That's why God gave us thoughts and ideas- to ask questions. I choose to do pageants because I see an opportunity for myself and a platform for me to use to help others. If letting my confidence show is part of the gig, I'm game.

What Makes You Courageous?

I want to be honest. I want to be completely transparent and open about the fact that I am not perfect. I think that so often kids are presented with these role models and think that the bar is set so high there is no way a "normal" person would be able to reach it. 

I think this was probably the hardest stereotype I had to face. The way media works is that people post only the highlights- the best parts- of their lives. They leave out the boring bits. The problem is that the type of timeline that creates in our heads is only made up of what we know about them, and then we create this idea that their life is perfect. Suddenly we start comparing every aspect of our lives to the mere peaks of theirs.

Look at a mountain. How big is the peak? How much space does it actually take up? How much work goes into actually getting to the top?

Exactly.

When I think about the types of role models I want to have in my life, the first word I want to be able to describe them with is "accessible." I want to know that they are "normal" too. Of course I want to set my goals high and the only reason normal is in quotations is because the term is relative to me. My normal is goofy, weird, personable, crazy, and not always perfect. However, normal doesn't have to mean mediocre. My role models set goals and realize the work that has to go into achieving them. 

I want people to know that I am accessible. I am silly, stubborn, crazy, sassy, and I have a story too. I was not always who I am today. I hid myself for a long time.

I want to be brave enough to tell the world about the parts of me I've hidden for so long. I want to lean on God and trust that He will not let me fall on my face, but if He does, I trust He will give me the sense of humor to laugh it off and the faith to try it again. 

When a young man named Joshua was told that God had chosen him to lead God's people he was afraid. He was insecure. God assured Joshua that no matter what, if he trusted Him, the Lord would be with him wherever he went. So he pushed past the insecurities and the self-doubt and followed God. He lead God's people to the promised land and he changed the world.

I want to live like that. I want to trust in God. But most importantly I want to know about everyone else. 

What makes you courageous?

#LIVEcourageously

Alex

Mr. South Texas : Boyfriends in Pageantry

In honor of all you pageant pros with S.O.s, I thought I'd write a post about boyfriends. Yes, this partially an excuse to brag on my beau, but it is also a way of showing everyone that we are real people. 

The current Miss America, Kira Kazantsev, has a boyfriend-- no way right? The Miss America before her, Nina Davuluri, had one too. No pageant friends, I'm not saying you need to go out and get yourself a boyfriend by any means! I just want to let the world know some of the things guys have to put up with and talk about something people think about, but never actually mention. Me being me, I compiled a list of why my boyfriend is awesome and some of the things he has to deal with as the other half of a beauty queen.

1. Yes I am busy! Between paperwork (there is a lot of that), appearances, fittings, talent rehearsals, spray tanning appointments, and so many other things I sometimes don't even have time to sit down. If I were to win the title of Miss Texas, my year would be the absolute busiest of my life! The great thing about having a boyfriend with all of this? He makes me calm. He can tell when I'm stressed or overwhelmed and just gives me a hug. The best thing about having him is that he knows when I am busy and he respects that I love what I'm doing. Yes it gets hard to communicate sometimes when we're both running a million directions, but we always find some time.

2. Heels create an interesting situation. He's a good 4 inches taller than me when I'm standing flat footed, if not more, but when I have my 3-inch heels on it's funny how upset he gets! Lol no, he's usually a good sport, but he definitely likes being taller. 

3. Make up is always fun. I'm not usually a fan of wearing a whole lot, and my stage make up... yikes! He loves when I don't wear make up, but it's always encouraging to hear that I look beautiful-- even with so much stuff on my face. 

4. Pageant diets suck! I'm just going to say it. I am the last person to promote healthy eating. Let's face it, I grew up in East Texas. I live on pizza, cheeseburgers, mac n cheese, and bar-b-que. When I have to I can eat right and exercise, but most of the time I just do the exercise part. I love that my person doesn't judge me for not doing things the conventional way. In fact, he likes it.

5. When I get an interview, he gets an interview. I get asked so many questions every time I Skype with my interview coach. Naturally I'm curious about his answers too! He's gotten pretty used to the most random questions at the most random times. "If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which one would it be and why?"

6. It's like a sorority. I'm not generally the sorority type. Yes I look like it, but trust me, my personality does not allow for that. However at Miss Texas, I've found that I've gotten to know a lot of girls very quickly and I've made some great friends! He's constantly having to learn new names and faces and he handles it so well!

7. OMG I have to wear a swimsuit in front of people. This one has a funny story. Two of his friends wanted to come cheer me on on that night and he got very protective. I find this adorable, but honestly, he knows that if I'm confident enough to parade around in a swimsuit in front of hundreds of people, I'll be okay with a few familiar faces. I'm proud of him for being so concerned though;)

8. Yes I have to buy a tan... and hair... and nails. It's just part of the gig. I've actually found that when I have a tan it enhances the things I like about myself. When my hair is done I walk with a little more pep in my step. I'm not really sure why, but I just feel that much more confident in myself. While the concept is a little funny, he still supports me doing what I love.

9. I'm generally a pretty confident person. And I value being strong and independent. I know a lot of girls like this in pageant world and, let me tell you, it takes a special kind of person to deal with one of those! I can't tell you how many times I've worried about being too much for one person, but he's proved to me time and time again that anyone worth it will be able to handle it and love and support me anyway. 

10. I think sometimes he's kind of proud of me. I mean, when he changed his Twitter name to "Mr. South Texas" and all of his friends started calling him that, I figured as much. It's honestly such a great feeling having someone other than my family purposefully choosing to deal with me and all of my opinions. 

In the end, he's such a good sport, one of my biggest supporters, and my best friend. I couldn't imagine doing what I do without him!

Me Is Who I Am

I am me.

Me is who I am. I refuse to pretend to be anyone else. I worked too hard for too long to merely be a copy of someone else; a piece of what I should be. 

I am nineteen with a creative side, an insatiable appetite for the wonders of the world, a weird way of connecting the thoughts in my head, and an all around curiosity for my future. I stay up way too late to do things others wouldn't deem important. I eat the kind of food I'm not supposed to eat because it's bad for my health, but good for my soul. I have an intense way of wording things.

I am what you would call an impact-thinker. I take in my surroundings, internalize them, ponder them way too long, and when I speak I know that I can move mountains.

Good luck world. I'm not done yet.

Dirt

I’ve always liked dirt. When I was younger, my favorite way to get my sister outside was to make mud pies. We would take a wagon and a bunch of bowls and fill the wagon with sludge concoctions of every shape and size, and then try to sell them to our family to make money to buy the toys we wanted. When I got a little older dirt started to disinterest me because it was gross and that wasn’t what the big kids did. But I still found myself going for walks and sometimes just sitting and running my fingers through it. When I was in high school I loved the dirt because it meant being out near the football field. Dirt meant that I had free time and could go on my walks—away from the world, my family, my schoolwork, afterschool activities, and responsibilities. Dirt meant that I could sit and have some time between God and me. I still like dirt. I still go on walks and learn about the world and learn to love the world, and wonder what God wants me to do for it. 

People are so distracted nowadays. I constantly watch others—and myself—plug into the world through an Internet portal or a wifi connection. We are all given so much information and yet I couldn’t tell you the first thing about any recent governmental legislation. Something happened in France about a month ago and I had no idea until it was brought up in a pageant interview.

Some of the best memories I’ve made in my lifetime come from me being surrounded by dirt. I was completely dirty, and tired, and worn out, but I was happy. My worst fear for my sister is that she won’t remember a life like that. Children aren’t going to remember their childhood because all it will be is a constant stream of apps, likes, and DMs. It’s easy for life to become a blur when all you look at is a screen. There is so much to learn but so much is lost inside pointless television shows with no value.

I believe in dirt. I believe in finding the value in every living thing, and learning things through experience—not just through a web article. I believe that changing the world means loving it—all of it. You can’t love a world you don’t see.

The world is full of dirt—all kinds—and I believe in learning to love it all.

50 Things I Believe

1. I believe in high heels.

I believe that the right pair of shoes can make anyone feel stunning.

2. I believe in confidence.

I believe that people are attracted to a confident individual. Someone who loves themselves cannot be easily swayed to think differently.

3. I believe in love.

I believe that love bears all things. It is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that all things are merely manifestations of the love-- or lack of love-- inside of us.

4. I believe in fighting for what you believe in, not fighting just because.

I believe that when silence is necessary it can be powerful. But that will never stop me from speaking the truth, even if my voice shakes.

5. I believe in first dates.

I believe in the awkward getting to know people. I mean really getting to know them. I believe in looking past that first impression and giving people a chance.

6. I believe in first loves.

I believe that first loves are lessons. They are the ones who gave us a taste of what life is about. As human beings we crave it. I believe in following that craving until we've found it. 

7. I believe in spirit.

I believe that a sense of pride is good for the soul. We all want to have somewhere we belong and I believe in loving where you belong with your whole heart.

8. I believe in chocolate.

I believe that people crave things because our body is in need. Sometimes that physical need is a little more emotional, but hey it's chocolate.

9. I believe in courage and bravery.

I believe that in order to be successful in life, we must first be willing to do unimaginable things and to take the leap of faith.

10. I believe in being both weak and strong at the same time.

I believe that it is possible to show who you are-- your weakest, most raw, most vulnerable side-- and be stronger for it. Behind every scar there is an untold story of survival. The biggest bleeding hearts are often the strongest.

11. I believe in being powerful.

I don't want to be pretty. I got enough of that when I was little. I want to be a force of nature; I will be strong and mighty and influential in the lives of the people I care about.

12. I believe in loved ones.

I believe that the connections to our loved ones are the most potent and influential connections we have. We base every decision off of how it would affect them. We wouldn't be who we are without them.

13. I believe in creativity.

I believe in arts and crafts. I believe in keeping my hands, heart, and mind busy until the day I can use them to conquer the world.

14. I believe in the stars.

I believe in looking up. There is so much more to us than we know and there is so much more out there than we could dream of. A God who made the heavens, the earth, the stars, and all of space made me as well. And of all of them I was the one made in God's image.

15. I believe in the power of words.

I believe that a simple sentence can change a person's life. You just have to find the right one.

16. I believe in stories.

I believe in imagining worlds not our own. I believe in believing something other than what we can see so that one day we can better believe in God.

17. I believe in the truth.

I believe that everyone deserves the truth. In every situation. I believe that the world is full of lies-- why add to it?

18. I believe in using my voice.

I believe that God gave me a strong mind for a reason. I believe that one day one of my ideas might just change the world.

19. I believe in holding hands.

I believe in the power of touching someone. Through every hard time I've ever had in my life I've only ever wanted someone there to hug me-- no words, just a hug. The people I've held hands with are the people I want to hold on to for the rest of my life-- all of them.

20. I believe in equity.

I believe that not everyone deserves the same thing. Some need more, and some need less. My job is not to complain about the fact that I only have 3/4 of a bowl of cereal; my job is to look over at my neighbor's bowl only to make sure that they have any cereal at all.

21. I believe in perfect moments.

I believe that life is not perfect. Nothing is perfect. But I think that there are times when God gives us some pretty perfect moments to keep us interested in this life we have to live.

22. I believe in Skype.

I believe that when people are far away, I still want to see their face, hear their voice, and ask about their day so I can see their emotions without the use of an emoji.

23. I believe in “what the hell”s and “why not”s.

I believe that every once in a while we should do something really stupid. If we did the smart thing all the time we would never learn anything. What's the fun in that?

24. I believe in listening—not for yourself but for someone else.

I believe that we become the best version of ourselves when we put ourselves away for a conversation. Stop listening for the sake of replying; listen for the sake of understanding.

25. I believe in choices.

I believe that there are two types of decisions: the ones we make for the sake of others, and the ones we make for ourselves. Both are important and when I can make everyone happy it's nothing short of magical, but in the end I'm the one living my life. I need to be happy with the choice I made.

26. I believe in making beautiful things.

I believe in finding everything beautiful and adding to the beauty of the world.

27. I believe in stepping out of comfort zones.

I believe that taking risks and doing uncomfortable things is THE only way to live fully the life God gave me. If I didn't, how would I know that I love skydiving?

28. I believe in fuzzy socks.

I believe in comfort. I believe in sliding around on a tile floor because I need a little humor at the end of a long day... and it's fun and comfy.

29. I believe in independence.

I believe that figuring out who I am and the person I am supposed to be requires only one person. 

30. I believe in the power of silence.

I believe that speaking can be powerful, but silence can say just as much. 

31. I believe in dancing in my underwear.

I believe in starting my day with something that makes me happy. And if that means I put my Brad Paisley on and sing and dance while I pick out an outfit, so be it.

32. I believe in struggle.

I believe that no one gets out of struggle and hard times in life. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And in my case, what doesn't kill me makes me rely on God.

33. I believe in notes on notebook paper.

I believe in telling people what I think. And if I am thinking something positive or silly or funny and I want them to know it, I just write a note. It makes people happy. I believe in making people happy.

34. I believe in good morning texts.

I believe in letting someone know that you are the first thing they think of when you wake up.

35. I believe in bare feet.

I believe that bare feet remind us the rest of the world doesn't have the things we have. 

36. I believe in soft things.

I believe in cuddling and wrapping up in something soft. I just like the way it feels and the way it feels like I can just hide from the world for a while. Sometimes I need those things.

37. I believe in helping people.

I believe that we as humans have a responsibility to help each other. We each have our own unique gifts and passions and we have them to share them with the world.

38. I believe in smiling at strangers.

I believe that this world has gotten so antisocial. Nobody looks people in the eye anymore. There is such a disconnect and if one smile can let someone know that there are people in the world that might actually care if they're in it, I've done my job.

39. I believe in being different.

I believe in being myself. How boring would the world be if everybody was just somebody else?

40. I believe in imagination.

I believe in looking at the world differently. I believe that each and every person has a unique perspective of the world and I love seeing things through someone else's eyes... imagination is the best way to do that.

41. I believe in mac-n-cheese.

I believe in my favorite food. Everyone has a favorite food and I think that one is going to stick with me even throughout adulthood.

42. I believe in lists.

I believe in having my plans laid out in front of me. My mind is absolute beautiful chaos and I like putting it down.

43. I believe in late nights.

I believe in staying up-- even though it is not advised by doctors. Sometimes it's better to stay up and have a good laugh.

44. I believe in singing—even when I don’t know the words.

I believe in letting myself have fun. I believe in enjoying music without worrying about knowing all of the words. Who could seriously know all of the words anyways?

45. I believe in laughter.

I believe that it really is the best medicine.

46. I believe in being from Texas.

I believe in Southern manners, and small towns, and country music. Seriously some of those songs describe my life so well!

47. I believe in prayer.

I believe in laying it all out for God. I constantly pour myself into the world and the only way to fill myself back up is to rely on God to do it.

48. I believe in the future.

I believe in looking forward. I believe in hoping and dreaming. I believe in dreaming big and unashamedly striving to fulfill that dream.

49. I believe in adventure—anywhere.

I believe in searching the world. I believe in hoping for the best and going with the flow. I believe in seeing the world-- all of the crazy wonderful parts of it that others could only dream of.

50. I believe that one person—should you give them the power to—can change your opinion on so many things, but most importantly, can change your opinion of love.

I now believe in loving someone with my whole heart, for my whole life. I used to not think that way and I knew that it was going to take someone pretty special to change that. And I think I found that person.